Dealing with someone with trust issues can’t be the easiest thing to deal with, but you have to sit back and ask yourself if you’re helping or making the situation worse.
You will never understand the mindset of someone that has been hurt multiple times. They will trust someone, but once that trust is compromised in any way, they back so far into a corner that it is often hard to get them out of it. It becomes even harder if you’re nonchalant about what they’ve been through, nonchalant about what they feel, nonchalant about the fact they really can shut down on you at any moment. TRUE UNDERSTANDING is key, especially if you come with a haunting past.
To rather be alone than not be trusted when you’ve caused some of that pain is selfish. Running from EVERY situation instead of working on it won’t get you anywhere. You have to take some of that blame and reevaluate if you really did everything you could do to resolve the issue.
For example, I know personally, if someone was slandering my significant others name and I had access to that person I would check them REAL quick. You can’t control what people say, but if you’re not attempting to check them, it looks as if you really don’t care or that you won’t say anything to that person because deep down inside you care about them. The other person will notice this too which will only push them farther into that corner.
When she is pretty much begging you for your concern, love, understanding and attention, don’t ignore it because of your personal opinions, BE THERE. Constantly remind her that you’re there, that you won’t hurt her, that you love her, that you will defend her ALWAYS. If you truly love someone you will do whatever it takes to change their mind, whether you agree or not; THAT is TRUE LOVE. THAT is what our generation is missing; at the first signs of disagreements we’re ready to run instead of facing the problems and actually fixing them.
If you’re not willing to fight or be there then maybe being alone is the best thing for you….